When you are younger, friends help you improve your social and conflict resolution skills. As you get older friendships become even more important. The older you get the more friends can become like a second family. Friends provide fun, excitement, and companionship. Friends can give advice and help you talk through problems as well as provide a sense of stability in your life if you?re going through a time of stress or transition.
Making Friends:
When it comes to making friends it?s important to find the people who are you like you in terms of what you like to do and how you feel about things. Friends with similar interests and values give you common ground and things to talk about and do together.
Quick Tips for making friends:
- Introduce yourself to people in your classes.
- Be friendly. When you are approachable and nice, more people will want to be around and talk to you.
- Don?t make fun of people. If you put other people down, potential friends may shy away from you because they don?t want to risk being put down as well.
- Join activities. Activities are a great way to meet people with similar interests and give you something to bond over right away!
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships
Friends are great but sometimes the relationships you have with some friends may not be the best for you. Friends should be there for you to relate to and to help you out, not to make you uncomfortable or pressure you to do things you don?t like. Sometimes even good friends may start to do things you don?t agree with (smoking, partying, stealing, etc.) and you will have to judge for yourself how much time you want to spend with them. Turning away from old friends can be hard but sometimes it?s worth it in the long run.
What makes a healthy Friendship?
- Mutual Respect. Friends shouldn?t pressure you to do things that you don?t want to do. You always have the right to say ?no? and good friends will respect that. They should also respect your opinion and should not make you feel bad for how you think or feel about a subject.
- Honesty and Trust. Friends should be able to tell each other things without worrying if their secrets will get out. Friends should also be able to tell the truth to each other. If you find a friend is telling your secrets to other or lying a lot, it may be time to reevaluate if the person is being a real friend or not.
- Support. Friends should be there through good times and bad. They should encourage and celebrate with you when things go right and give you a shoulder to cry on when life takes a downturn.
- Fairness and Equality. Healthy relationships need to have some give and take. You should be doing favors for each other and each get a say in choosing what to do when you hang out. If you find that your relationships is becoming one sided or controlling try talking to your friend about it. They may be unaware of how they are acting. Or if you?re the one acting this way, try to figure out why that is and make an effort to balance it out.
- Good Communication. Friendships like any good relationship need healthy communication. Conflicts should be resolved when they arise in a calm, respectful manner. You should be able to listen and talk to each other without fear of being judged.
- Cooperation. Being able to work together and take turns is important for good relationships.
Please check out our June Newsletter InBalance for more tips on building friends and developing healthy social skills.? You can also take a look at Teen Health to read more about building healthy friendships.
- Gyro Psychology Services, Inc.
360-236-0206
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